those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
