hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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