Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
