The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
