Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
