fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She bit a glass in half.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize