Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
