after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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