then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
