I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you win again, gameday.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
