i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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