Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
