I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
