Whod you bang
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
