I heard we made out
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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