I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
