buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
