so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
