We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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