I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
