Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
