first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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