you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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