I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
