So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
