you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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