He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
