yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
