Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
