we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
