I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Green mimosas i think yes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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