I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
