Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
