quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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