My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
