We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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