she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
