You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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