D3 body, D1 cock
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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