My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
whose ass print is on the piano?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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