When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
