1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
