"it" just moved
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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