I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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