North Korea, Best Korea!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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