I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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