Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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