just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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