My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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