That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
